Taken from Stony321 @ Livejournal.com This is all her, not me. But please read, it’s a very hilarious read. 
LDS Sparkledammerung IS HERE!
The Secrets of the Sparkle a.k.a. TWILIGHT: STONIFIED (Image heavy)
The Secrets of the Sparkle a.k.a. TWILIGHT: STONIFIED (For real this time.)
So here’s the thing. I was going to be all whipping out the smart essay, pointing out all the subconscious LDS meta that SMeyers jammed in these books, showing how I thought she didn’t even realize what she was borrowing (because honestly, I just don’t think she’s smart enough to lay it out there, you know?) But here’s the thing:
THE BOOKS ARE REALLY REALLY DUMB. Like, “Strategery” dumb. (That’s a Dubya quote.) So I’m giving back at the same reading-comprehension level if you will. And you will. There’s so much dumb, in fact, that it will take a few posts to get it all out there. So here’s the first book and change.
Hold on, hold on, I need to keep setting the tone:
“Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful, beautiful sunset? And he’s carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he’s carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you’re drunk.” ~Jack Handy.
There is heavy word abuse in the book, so I’m trying to spare you that. They are “beautiful,” “perfect,” “chagrin,” and the one I wanted to scream every time I read it, “UGH.” Because cop fathers would clearly say repeatedly, “Ugh.” On with the show!
Stephenie Meyers (who claims that her name is spelled weird. [ETA: *I* spelled it wrong, but my point stands. One letter don't make it weird in that neck of the woods. Carry on! *G*] Um, only in Utah, lady. Which, here is an example of some typical Mormon/Utah names, all people that I KNOW:
- Jannilyn
- Randilynn (guess what her dad’s name is?)
- Faunette
- LaVonne
- Mohonri Morianchimer
- Aereign <– good fucking hell.)
Continues..please click MORE below to read the rest.
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